What We Can Control
How the Structure of Organization Can Help Life Feel a Little More (Or a Lot More) Balanced.
Let's face it, the world is changing rapidly, and 2020 might just be the most interesting or challenging year, depending on how you see it. Even though the shelter in place is lifting slowly (depending on where you live) and life seems to be getting back to some sense of “normal”, in some ways we are forever changed from both the Covid-19 pandemic and black lives matter. We are all changed in some way, whether big or small (change is inevitable after all and that is a good thing my friend) and are learning to live with our new normal, learning how to go forward with so much uncertainty. For me, the slowing down of life for the last several months helped to clear some space to be more present with myself and my family and to reflect on what I have in my control and what I do not.
When George Floyd was senselessly murdered, that was a huge eye opener for me. I am learning and educating myself with my kids and husband all about my white privilege, and finding ways that I can make a difference and be part of the solution, not part of the problem. My 15 year old cried as she privately watched one of the first videos of George Floyd’s murder and then came out of her room and told me she wanted to be a lawyer (and “not have a meaningless career” is how she put it) to help protect people like George Floyd and anyone else who was ever killed in a senseless way.
So, as I write my first blog for Clean Slate, I am looking at where I fit into the world, where Clean Slate fits in, and if what I have chosen to do for a career has any real meaning. How can I make an impact and make it feel like I am actually making a difference to make the world a better place.
There will always be stressors in life and some people have more stressors than others. My mother used to say to me when I was younger, life is like a rocky river, your going down the rapids on a boat and have to learn to ride them and then you get to the shore and can bask in the sunshine and be still, but at some point you have to jump back in and each time you do, you learn to navigate the rapids a little better. I have asked myself in the midst of the past several months, during this stressful time that we are all facing: does it really matter what bin is in someones pantry, or if a label looks pretty? Sometimes it seems so trite and small. Insignificant if you will…..Then I have an AHA moment. When an AHA moment comes to you, and they do if you get still (like sitting in the sun on the shores of the rocky river) and listen, It's like a gift from the heavens, god or higher power, whatever you might believe in. Aha moments can also be big and small too. My Aha moment sounded like this recently“ Let go of it all, Breathe deep, trust and surrender. It is what it is and while there are things in my life I can control, there are many I cannot. So , I stop, pause and say to myself “ok, what is in my control; since the whole world is not. What has meaning in small ways that can then impact the big picture of life and my time on this earth. Here are the things I can control each and every day and can do it with grace and a positive attitude:
My attitude when I wake up in the morning. I can decide to commit to a good day and to think as many positive thoughts as possible. I can write about it, be quiet and meditate to help feel more balanced. These are acts of self care and can help start the morning off on the right foot. When I do wake up feeling "off" on the wrong side of the bed, it's all of the other choices that I choose to make that can shift a crappy morning into a glorious day. (Keep reading)
My home is in my control; how it is set up with systems that work and a lack of clutter. It truly does affect well being. Are their piles everywhere and things I don’t need, like or even want? Is my home filled with things that “spark joy”? (Thanks Marie Kondo) Is it well thought out and well curated, neatly organized with only things I love, use and need? For me when it's the latter, with a well thought out system, I know I can relax just a little… Life all around me feels more in control, my mind feels a little clearer and then I realize that it can be the “little thing”, like a bin or label that add up to a big thing and bring a lot of joy into my life.
What I choose to eat is something I can control and a choice I get to make every.single.day. We all have a choice to start the day with water or soda and continue with depleting foods or nourishing foods. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love chocolate, french fries and a good glass of wine, but I know as a woman in my 50’s that eating well, foods that nourish my body, are the key to my mental and often emotional well being. Most of us know the 80/20 rule. 80 % “healthy foods; veggies, lean proteins and nuts, seeds and low sugar fruit, and 20 % junk food. Some days I am spot on and some days it is more like 50/50. I do know that it boils down to what is in my pantry and how easy it is to access, how I start my day plays a role and a little bit of what I might be craving. The key is to have healthy foods on hand and substitutions for the cravings. This is not about depravation, healthy food can taste amazing. Our nutrition plays a role in the health of us as human beings and also our planet. I found that once I started Clean Slate Home Organizing, that helping clients beautify their kitchens and pantries was satisfying, but giving them tips and ideas on healthier options for feeding their families, was often an Aha movement for them which in turn made small changes feel much bigger.
Movement is also a place in life where we all have a choice. Each and every day. Sometimes we (meaning I) dread doing it, even a walk around the block, but I always know that a good sweat session clears my mind and makes me feel physically better too. With most gyms closed and people working out at home more, it's a great time to invest in a beautiful basket and some work out equipment, unless your lucky enough to have a home gym. Setting up an area for a place to stretch and work out creates a wellness space in your home and makes it more like a sanctuary.
How I choose to show up in the world, for myself and others. This is something I have control over 100% of the time. I did a course in my 20’s, around 1994, a self help kind of course called Life Spring. Its a 4 day course of self reflection and digging deep to change the things that no longer serve you in your life and set a new tone moving forward. The theme of the course and what I remember most was “How do you/I show up in the world”. Between that and a Tony Robbins course in my teens where I learned over a weekend , neurolinguistic programing and walked across hot coals, both of those courses helped shape that story for me, about how I show up in the world which I strive towards being authentic, kind and loving. This is a topic that comes into all areas of human life, how to love more, how to be more accepting of yourself and others, especially in this time where we are hoping the world changes drastically on so many levels and racism ends. The question then becomes, how do you show up for yourself ? How do you show up in the way you keep your home, treat your body and feed your soul?. These are things that are for the most part in your control and even making one small change at a time, like purging clutter and adding a pretty bin with a label, is a good place to start.
So, I hope my daughter does become a lawyer, if that is her path and higher calling. She is 15 and has some time to decide. For now, I realize that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, helping people in an area of their life that they can control and I realize it trickles down to many other areas where change can take place on a deeper level. There is no judgement, only looking forward, let yourself be open to an Aha moment and when you hear it, I hope you listen. It may be a moment where you hear that you want to purge and streamline your house, or that you want to take better care of yourself through eating and exercise, or show up for yourself, family and friends in a more authentic way. Whatever it is, I hope you stay open to change. Here's to living your best life. One that filled with endless days of a positive attitude, organized home, healthy food and movement.
In peace, health and all things organized,